Power Dynamics for Radical Relationships
What if we could negotiate all of our relationships from a place of self-truth and self-love? What if we stopped placing dominance on romantic dynamics and embraced the sanctity of each interpersonal connection? What if we believed our needs were valuable and facilitated getting them met? We’d have to be real honest with ourselves about who we are, what we want, and what we’re willing to give. Let’s work on believing we deserve every morsel of what we crave. Let’s develop relationships while consciously questioning the tenets of monogamy and polyamory. Imagine the dynamics you could enjoy, thrive in, and create if you trusted your vision. Join Sera to uncover ways to stop pretending, to express what you want and risk not only that timeless fear of humiliation and rejection, but also risk actually getting it all, risk feasting at the table of your dreams come true.
The Art of Storytelling: Incorporating Fantasy Tales into Your Play
We grow up telling stories - in fact, some scientists and linguists wager that the desire to create and tell stories is a critical part of what makes us human. How, then, could storytelling increase the intensity of your play? In this workshop, we’ll discuss the building blocks of spinning a yarn and delve into how storytelling-as-play could work with a partner who is sensory deprived and/or bound. We’ll also consider how storytelling can add erotic intimacy to a long distance relationship. How do you know what story to tell? What do you do if you can’t finish the story? Learn how to troubleshoot the art of storytelling just as you would any other play technique. Best of all, learn how your words and voice can amplify every scene you create. Your mind and imagination has long been in your toy kit - now, let’s add your voice. Note: The workshop as detailed above is crafted for couples. It can easily be modified for single people. Also, the workshop can be adapted for storytelling in various contexts, such as body positivity, disclosing identity, and the framework you have in mind.
PERV, Providing Education with Respect and Vision
Join Sera for an invigorating class on vocabulary, common sense (that isn't so common!), etiquette, expectations, and safety. New to the kink / Leather/ BDSM/ fetish community? This class is for you! Been around for awhile? Come for a refresher!
Living the Dream: Polyam in Practice, Beyond Theory
Polyamory tells us that the relationships of our dreams are possible, that we can create dynamic paths to fulfilling our needs and discover novel approaches to intimacy, life building, and more. How, though, do we do that? How do we develop schedules that honor everyone's needs - without living under the tyranny of an integrated Google Calendar? Can we maintain living situations that keep costs low and people close by, or costs high and personal space great? What happens when dislike for a metamour shifts into loathing, or when jealousy feels all consuming? Is it necessary for all polyam folks to become political - or is it simply inevitable? Why do we sometimes feel so lonely when polyam means "many"? Join Sera for a discussion-based workshop that will examine polyamorous relationships under a practical magnifying lens. Let's talk about the realities of living out our reveries, and create the potential for our lives to match up to our dreams.
Presenting Yourself with Polished Prose
No matter how many kink events we attend, we meet many people for the first time on-line - and they meet us, when they read our profiles on various sites. Whether you’re using social networking to find partners, friends, work, or community, your on-line profile creates a first impression. And those pesky first impressions? Almost impossible to change. In this workshop, we’ll discuss tools and tricks to help you develop the best first impression possible. Writing, proofreading, brainstorming, and celebrating ourselves in prose are all on the menu. Book editor, professional writer, and widely published poet Sera will share insider tips on developing, editing, and executing the best writing possible, and how to figure out not just how to write about yourself, but also what to write about yourself.
Sex, Lies, and Infidelity
Ever felt like your best friend was cheating on you with a new acquaintance? Did secrets shred the ties of your extended family? Have you committed an indiscretion for which you still bathe in self-loathing? Secrecy, infidelity, and mendacity occur in all relationships - familial, platonic, professional, academic, and romantic. Heteronormative. Pansexual. Power exchange. Monogamous. Polyamorous. Why? Join Sera Miles for a discussion of what constitutes infidelity and an in-depth examination of the main reasons people cheat. We’ll pull apart how secret-keeping patterns, shame, negative self-image, and toxic familial pathologies lead us into behaviors based in mendacity - as well as into relationships in which we tolerate infidelity. Mendacity and boundary-crossing are poisonous to ourselves and others. You can create new patterns for your relationship and learn how to better negotiate the sickness that secrecy has wrought in your life.
Misery Loves Company: How Toxic People Affect the Community
Come talk about toxic people and community health. We'll dabble in psychological theory, examine what "toxic" can mean, and turn the lens inside to examine on our own potential for behavior that damages the self and others. Learn tools to help you identify folks who can be toxic to you. Join in to collaborate and develop ideas on how to navigate the difficult community waters that seem poisoned to some - and fresh to others. The boat may rock, but life jackets? There's plenty.
Good Enough, or Which Hat Am I Wearing with Which Shoes?
You try to be the best mother. Best wife/ girlfriend/ lover (and if you're polyam, please multiply here appropriately). Best worker/ student/ co-worker. Best community member/ leader. Best neighbor. Best sister, daughter, niece, aunt ... Best friend. Meanwhile, there's a run in your fishnets; you can't find your other red cuff; and you ran out of Oreos, the only snack your kid will eat - this week, that is. Stop beating yourself up! And aren't many people in this lifestyle to either get literal beatings or give them? Why are you metaphorically slapping yourself silly? It's time to talk about the gritty, dirty, hard parts of being driven and kinky, all while wearing multiple hats. Join Sera Miles for real talk beyond the brunch table. No topic is out of bounds. Sera will facilitate discussion on how she's learned to be the good enough mother/ lover/ leader/ etc: how to say NO (yes, in all caps); how to prioritize; and how to reconcile what we do in the kink community with the rest of our lives. Prepare to whine (and be heard!), cry, sigh, and laugh - uproariously. Note: This workshop can be adapted for various communities and identities.
Polyamory Primer: Re-thinking Relationships for a Radical Future
New to Polyamory? Love someone who’s polyamorous? Ready to learn about life outside of the dominant relationship paradigm? Want to better support your polyamorous friends and family members? Join Sera for this incisive primer on Polyamory! Learn terms and concepts common to the Polyamory community, as well as the tenets of functional non-monogamy. Shake off common misconceptions about Polyamory, then examine the joys and pitfalls of engaging in multiple meaningful dynamics. Sera approaches Polyamory as an orientation, and attendees have appreciated Sera’s no-pressure, straight forward approach to imparting information that can enrich the landscape of your love life, and beyond.
Sex and Self Love for Survivors
Can sexuality heal our trauma? Is self-love and erotic love possible after our physical, emotional, and sexual boundaries are violated? If we are broken, can we ever be whole? Though perfect answers may not be possible, there are always possibilities. Join Sera Miles for an excavating journey through theories of narrative fulfillment, attachment, neurology, and complex defense mechanisms. Trauma distorts our frame of reference, and can occur at any moment in our lives. This workshop will keep in focus that trauma of any sort affects our lives in whole. Discover techniques that may lead you to let go of what you cannot recapture, and thus allow you to reclaim and freshly claim your erotic, sexual, and personal sense of self. NOTE: This workshop emphasizes that everyone has the right to autonomy in their decisions, and it never requires that any attendee share their trauma.
Disenfranchised peoples experience dozens to hundreds of microaggressions each day. These seemingly disposable attacks leave folks feeling empty, defeated, angry, victimized, helpless, and worse. Let's talk about what microaggressions are, how and why they function, and how we can all do a better job of communicating with awareness of the marginalized groups with whom we share and build our community. NOTE: This workshop can be adapted in minor ways for any community or subculture, from kinksters to the corporate boardroom.
Ace/Aro 101: Rethinking Orientation for a Radical Future
Orientation is not a one-way street. Relationships built on love and sex combined (aka: amatonormativity) are not the ultimate goal for everyone. Some of us don’t want romance, or don’t feel sexual attraction—and none of us is wrong, weird, or anything of the sort! Join Sera for a primer on the Asexual and Aromantic orientation spectrums. Explore attraction, desire, and identity in a modular framework that allows for a myriad of experiences. Acquire language that will potentially better help you understand yourself and improve interpersonal communication. Delve into a rousing conversation about the intersections of the ace/aro spectrum, queerness, and kink. Sera’s no-pressure, straight forward approach to imparting information will enrich the landscape of your life, and beyond.